One of Us

Before coming to this tiny New England town, I couldn't have guessed how welcoming and restorative it would be after more than a decade in major cities. As much as I can claim any geographic place of origin, it was rural and suburban Minnesota, which I experienced as oppressive and depressing. Cities provided the noise, distraction, and adrenaline I needed to feel safe and alive. But I still felt isolated, in love with something I was not a part of.

Friday night, after a screening of Rock-n-Roll High School, I helped lead a Ramones sing-a-long in a church-turned-theater, the pews filled with friends and assorted weirdos belting out "Sheena Is a Punk Rocker" at top volume. It was one moment of many over the last two years that have felt like my life come full-circle. You don't even know in how many ways.

I might grow restless here and find my way to broader horizons, but in a world where connection and community have been so hard to come by, I'm content for now to just soak up the love and wear a mullet wig at every opportunity.

Haiku for February 7, 2014

In a former church
I finally feel at home
Gabba gabba hey

Circa 2002, Chicago. Foreshadowing.

Played Out

So there's this game, and you probably know about it, and right on the box it says it's "for horrible people." But I've mostly played it with extremely lovely people who work hard to not hurt others with their words and actions. Is that what makes the game fun? Someone please explain.

Haiku for Game Night

Conscious queers playing
Cards Against Humanity:
Laughter and shame face

There are way worse examples than this. Way worse.

This is my life.

I must be doing something right.

The sincerest form of flattery

So last Thursday night a dear friend shows up to the Halloween show looking pretty damn stylish. Plaid shirt, argyle sweater vest, bow tie, black cap. I'm not about to ask, "What are you dressed as?" because I want to figure it out. I do almost say, "Hey man, you look extra fly tonight," but I'm shy sometimes.

A short while later, this friend wordlessly hands me a slip of paper that reads:

My jaw crashes through the floor and into the basement.

I then have several more costume details pointed out to me, like a plaid fanny pack, the patchy "future haircut" I got a couple months ago, and my wrist tattoos, which my friend has duplicated expertly with a sharpie.

Also, eight more little slips of paper with a haiku on each.

I was really touched, and I maybe it's because I'm self-obsessed and vain. And maybe it's because I felt loved, and seen, and appreciated. If I have done anything to deserve such honor and beauty in my life, I hope I keep on doing it.

I love rock-n-roll. And Halloween.

See my previous post wherein I bemoan the struggles we underwent in coming up with the Ultimate Cover Band for Halloween. See below for how entirely we nailed it. 

If you're in my town tonight, I fully expect to see you at the show.

Haiku for My Halloween Cover Band

Do you wanna touch?

Do you wanna touch me there?

Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.

(Not pictured: my band mate, also Joan Jett.)

Homo in Noho, or, On Second Thought, Let's Not Do the Time Warp Again

Despite protests that it is a horrible place and wry laughter in response to my invitations to join me, I went to a certain gay bar in a certain New England college town last night for a Halloween party. There were no fewer than three unicorns, two Catwomen, six Power Puff Girls, and two Rockys from RHPS.

My favorite costume was Carrie White as interpreted by a cute guy wearing just a pair of trunks, a tiara, a corsage, and head-to-toe fake blood. He was accompanied by a woman dressed in black carrying a Bible and a knife. They didn't win anything. Pfff.

The cop who pulled me over on my way home for having a tail light out sounded incredulous that I would drive 45 minutes each way to attend such an event. I wanted to tell him, "I'm from the Midwest. I've gone farther for much less."

Haiku for a Small-Town Gay Bar

Flannel shirts and beards
Back it up and drop it down
Massachusetts queers

Hitch yer wagon to a dyin' star

Haiku for Freezing Temperatures in This Week's Forecast

Only trouble is,
When your soul's like autumn leaves,
Be prepared to die.

Oh, the humanity.

Vampire Practice*

Tribute bands are one of my favorite things in this world. I was in one, once, as a long-term project. Get me drunk, and I'll tell you about it.

I also love a good cover (and a good cover music radio show).

So why is it so difficult to come up with the ultimate cover band for the Future Collective Halloween Cover Band Show?

Well, I could explain why, but instead I'll just leave you with this haiku and this classic music video from 1979.

Haiku Cover

The times are tough now
Come on in and cover me
Just getting tougher

*The other night, when I told my roommate and her friend I was having "band practice" at the house later, they both heard "vampires" instead. Seems about right.

All in a day's werk.

Yesterday I was running a booth for Homo Promo at Future Fest. My job was to get carnival attendees to write suggestions for a monthly "random act of queerness." To further this aim, I decided I would need an outrageous outfit. (Slash I will take any opportunity to wear suspenders with no pants.)

So I was checking out my costume in my roommate's full-length mirror when my landlord knocked on the door. I bolted upstairs and grabbed my bathrobe, then came running back down to let him in. He was there to fix a door that was backward on its hinges or some shit.

While he was doing that, I went back up to put on more clothes, then I left for the tabling gig. As I was driving across town to pick up a banner, I realized what I must have looked like as I answered the door.

Haiku for My Random Act of Queerness

Bathrobe and bow tie.
No wonder he looked confused.
Poor Mr. Landlord.

I am not really comfortable showing the Internet the front of this outfit.

Life After Humans

So, you know how the Badlands in South Dakota used to be all underwater, and then the plates shifted and created mountains, and the water drained away, and then it was a jungle full of dinosaurs, and now we see these petrified soil layers sticking up all over amid these grassy plains? Well, me either, until yesterday. Now we both know.

Whenever I think in terms of millions of years on Earth, I find myself smiling with the realization that this experiment called homo sapiens will someday evolve into a new experiment with a species that will maybe not destroy itself and everything around it as quickly as it can.

Haiku for July 31, 2013

They called you "bad land,"
But you used to be a sea.
Anything can change.

Call Me "Kiddo"

I bought my tickets! I'm flying to Minnesota at the end of the month to go on a road trip with my dad. We're driving to Montana with his girlfriend to see my little sisters, both of whom just had kids.

This post is in honor of the guy who has never batted an eye about anything I've ever told him. Except when I wouldn't eat my beets. That was pretty serious.

Haiku for 2,368 Miles

I was daddy's girl
Now I am my father's son
Some things never change

I am stoked to spend many hours confined in a hybrid car with this guy.

In Memoriam

Haiku for Barbecue Day

i'm that little guy
walking home all by himself
wishing you were here