A Public Service Announcement (Disguised as a Clip Show)

I looked at the Times Haiku Blog recently (thanks to reader "amplituhedron") and thought, "But those aren't even haiku. They're just sentences with 17 syllables." I looked at it some more and thought, "But they look a lot like mine, don't they?"

So it seems like the responsible thing to do, as the proprietor of an internet website with literally tens of readers, to shed a little light on what a haiku actually is. I realize not all of us were able to attend a crappy state school where other cultures' art forms were watered down and spoon-fed, so I'll fill you in on some things I learned.

7 Things About Haiku That This Blog Gets Wrong

1. Language. Traditional haiku are in Japanese, while I write exclusively in English. A subtle distinction, lending itself to number 2 below.
2. Syllables. Japanese haiku count syllables differently. 17 Japanese haiku syllables are roughly equivalent to 12 in English.
3. Line breaks. Japanese haiku are usually printed in one line, not three.
4. Juxtaposition. Haiku are supposed to use a "cut" word, or equivalent punctuation, to set off two parallel or contrasting ideas or images.
5. Self-sufficiency. Haiku are meant to stand alone, not follow an anecdotal setup characterized by too many first-person pronouns.
6. Nature. I do it sometimes (mostly in autumn, it seems). More often, though, I write about stuff like zombies, brunch, noise music, and cassette tapes.
7. Seasons. You could also argue that some of my haiku qualify as seasonal. However, traditional haiku usually contain one of a prescribed list of words used to suggest a season.

Got any more? Leave em in the comments!